Overview
Our refund and returns policy may last 30 days, but your entitled, snobby, thoughtless criticisms will be a longer struggle.
To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused and in the same condition that you received it.
Several types of goods are exempt from being returned. Perishable goods such as food, flowers, newspapers or magazines cannot be returned. We also do not accept products that are intimate (even musically) or hazardous materials (most serial music).
Additional non-returnable items:
- Gift cards
- Downloadable software products
- Complimentary animals
- Ground Beef
To complete your return, we require a receipt or proof of purchase.
There are certain situations where only partial refunds are granted:
- Book with obvious signs of use
- CD, DVD, VHS tape, software, video game, cassette tape, or vinyl record that has been opened.
- Any item not in its original condition, is damaged or missing parts for reasons not due to our error.
- Any item that is returned more than 30 days after delivery.
- You’ve eaten the music.
Refunds
Once your return is received and inspected, we will send you an email to notify you that we have received your returned item, and that it is unlikely you will ever be happy with anything. We will also notify you of the approval or rejection of your refund.
If you are approved, then your refund will be processed, and a credit will automatically be applied to your original method of payment, within a certain amount of days.
Late or missing refunds
If you haven’t received a refund yet, first check your bank account again.
Then contact your credit card company, it may take some time before your refund is officially posted.
Next contact your bank. There is often some processing time before a refund is posted.
If you’ve done all of this and you still have not received your refund yet, please contact us. Or just take a f^&*ing breath and realize that not everything is exactly the way you want it, it that may, in fact, make it more valuable to you overall.
Sale items
Only regular priced items may be refunded. Abnormally priced items cannot be refunded.
Exchanges
We only replace items if they are defective or damaged. If you need to exchange it for the same item, send us an email, and send your item back.
Shipping returns
To return your product, you should mail your product back to us. Weren’t expecting that, were you?
You will be responsible for paying for your own shipping costs for returning your item. Shipping costs are non-refundable. If you receive a refund, the cost of return shipping will be deducted from your refund. So if it’s a $2.00 PDF, calm the f&*k down…
Depending on where you live, the time it may take for your exchanged product to reach you may vary. Antarctica has notoriously slow mail and wifi.
If you are returning more expensive items, you may consider using a trackable shipping service or purchasing shipping insurance. We don’t guarantee that we will receive your returned item.
Need help?
From product inquiries, support, or relationship advice, contact us!